The Crush
by beautifulpurpleflame
Summary: Over the years he's developed a crush on her. And he's done a good job of keeping it a secret. But one night out with his friends exposes all. Now what will he do? What will she do? BBxRae
1. Prologue

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Prologue

The tower was calm while each Titan was doing their own thing. Cyborg sat on the couch flipping through the channels. Starfire was in the kitchen, the one place she was never trusted to be in. Robin was watching Starfire and making sure she wasn't cooking up anything lethal. Raven sat in the corner reading one of her books. There was just one person missing, which must have been why it was so quiet.

"Has anyone seen Beast Boy?" asked Robin.

"I have not," said Starfire.

"I think I saw him goin up to the roof," said Cyborg.

"Perhaps one of us should see if he is okay," said Starfire.

"He has been acting a little depressed lately," said Robin thinking. "Anyone want to volunteer?"

"Well Raven's the expert on being quiet and depressed," said Cyborg. "Maybe she should talk to him."

"Quiet, yes," said Raven not looking up from her book. "Depressed, no."

"Maybe you should go talk to him," said Robin.

"Why me?" asked Raven looking up.

"Because anything you say will mean more to him than if any of us said anything," said Robin. "Since you basically ignore him, any words of comfort would probably snap him out of this funk he's been in."

Raven closed her book and sighed. "Fine," she said rather annoyed and made her way to the roof.

Beast Boy sat on the edge of the roof watching the sunset. It still had a few minutes to go, but it was beautiful nonetheless. He sighed and kicked his dangling feet back and forth. He hated feeling this way, but he couldn't help it. He heard someone walking up to him with his sensitive ears. He turned and saw that it was Raven standing behind him.

"Oh, hey," he said and turned back towards the setting sun.

"Hi," she said walking up to him.

"What are you doing up here?" he asked in a sigh.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said sitting next down next to him. It was considerably warm out, but there was a cool breeze. "Are you… okay?"

"I guess," he said shrugging.

It grew quiet between them as the sun sank ever further into the sea. The sky was alight with florescent colors of orange and pink and purple. The city was slowly starting to shimmer with thousands of lights.

"You've seemed a little down lately," said Raven.

"I know," he sighed.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked looking at him.

He looked at her with surprise. "You want me to talk?"

"I want to know that you're okay," said Raven plainly.

"I'm okay," he said looking back to the setting sun. "It's just… I can't seem to get over Terra." Raven felt her heart race and her blood boil for a moment. It had been a month since they had returned from saving the world and discovered that Terra was no longer stone. "I just can't believe that she doesn't want to remember us. She doesn't even want to know us anymore. She doesn't want to know me." He sighed a long heavy sigh. "I missed her so much. I wanted her back more than anything. And now that she is she doesn't even care about me."

"It's not that she doesn't care, Beast Boy," said Raven trying not to get angry about his Terra obsession. She personally still held a large grudge against the traitor and was glad that she didn't want anything to do with them. "She's just moved on. This is what she wants, and if you really are her friend you'll let her be happy."

"It's not that I don't want her to be happy," said Beast Boy. "I just want her to be happy with me. She was the first girl who liked me for me. She didn't care that I looked different and she actually liked my sense of humor. I just don't think I'll ever find a girl like that again."

"She was… one in a million," said Raven still trying to keep her disgust hidden. "But just because she doesn't like you, like you like her, anymore doesn't mean you have to feel bad about yourself. You're one in a million, too. And I'm sure there's a girl out there who will see that as well. But you'll never find her if you don't get over Terra. You have to do what she did and move on."

Beast Boy turned to Raven. "You really think there's another girl out there who'd like me?"

Raven turned to him and gave him a small smile. "Of course I do." The setting sun's dying light landed upon Ravens face making her glow. The violet in her eyes seemed to be electrified and her pale skin turned to gold. Beast Boy had never noticed how beautiful she could be. The sunset seemed to only intensify her loveliness. He suddenly felt his stomach twist for a moment and he looked away from her, back to the sun that was just about beneath the horizon.

Raven had seen the way Beast Boy was looking at her and she felt a little uncomfortable. She put up her hood and then stood up. "So do you think that you could come back in now? Or are you going to keep sitting here feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'll be in in a second," said Beast Boy not looking at her. Raven nodded and headed inside. Once she was gone Beast Boy stood up and thought about all she had said. "Maybe it is time that I moved on. But one thing's for sure, I'll never find another girl like Terra. Then again, that might not be completely terrible. But who could ever like me for me?" The sky had faded to a brilliant shade of purple that was fading into midnight blue. He didn't know why, but it reminded him of Raven. He felt his stomach flip and an odd smile cross his face.


	2. Watching or Staring?

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 1

It was early in the morning. Very early in the morning, in fact. Beast Boy slowly opened one eye, the one that wasn't facing the pillow, and looked around. The sun had just come up and it was still pretty dark out. He moaned and turned over in his bed. He really didn't want to get up yet. But he just couldn't seem to fall back to sleep. After about a half an hour of tossing around he finally sighed and threw his covers off.

The cold air on his body really woke him up. He was only in his boxers and he quickly looked for some clothes to throw on. He stumbled down the rungs of the ladder that led up to his top bunk and stretched. He looked on the floor and saw a pair of pajama pants and a plain blue tee-shirt. He put them on and headed to the bathroom.

He couldn't believe he was awake this early, but he had gone to bed a little earlier than usual the night before. He relieved his bladder and then took a look at himself in the mirror. He was certainly not a boy anymore and he wondered if it was time to change his name. He was at least a foot taller than when he had become a Titan and his body had matured into a young man. His grass green hair was just long enough to brush his eyes and he found himself constantly swishing it away. He quickly splashed his face with some water, dried off, and headed out to the common room.

He felt a yawn coming on as the doors to the common room swooshed open. He dragged himself down the stairs and made his way into the kitchen. As he did he saw Raven sitting in front of one of the large windows with a cup of tea. She was in her normal uniform, black leotard and deep blue cloak, and was levitating in the air. Her hair was a bit longer now, just going below her shoulders.

"Morning Raven," said Beast Boy as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"You're up early," said Raven, not turning around.

"I know," he laughed fixing his coffee the way he liked it. He took a seat on the couch and slowly began to drink his caffeine filled drink. "Fell asleep early last night."

She didn't give him any reaction to let him know she was listening. She just sipped from her cup and let the warmth of the sunrise bathe her. Beast Boy couldn't help but stare at her with a smile. Maybe there was an upside to getting up early every morning.

He stared at her for a while until he finished his coffee. She didn't budge once. He couldn't believe that it was possible to stay motionless for so long. He decided to make himself another cup of coffee and some breakfast for himself… and her if she wanted any.

"You want some breakfast?" he called to her.

"No thank you," she said in her monotone voice.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I've got enough tofu here for two."

"No thank you," she said in a bit of an annoyed tone.

He sighed and made his breakfast. As he was sitting down at the table the doors opened and Robin entered. His hair was still askew from sleeping and he looked tired. He was always up after Raven, but this was the first time Beast Boy was up before him. He made himself some coffee and sat down across from Beast Boy.

"What are you doing up so early?" asked Robin sipping his hot cup.

"Not really sure," said Beast Boy with a mouthful of tofu eggs. "Just woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep."

Robin smiled and let the coffee wake him up as it ran down his throat. Raven touched down and walked to the kitchen, not even looking at the boys. But that didn't mean she wasn't being watched. She went to the sink, washed out her cup, put it away, and then headed out of the room. Beast Boy watched her the whole time, and Robin watched Beast Boy watch Raven.

"What was that about?" asked Robin once Raven was out of the room.

"What?" asked Beast Boy snapping back.

"What's with you watching her like that?" he asked raising an eyebrow. Then his face turned serious. "You're not pulling a prank on her, are you?"

"What? No! Why would you jump to that conclusion?" asked Beast Boy eating his breakfast, which was growing cold now.

"Because whenever you watch any of us like that you've got something devious in mind," said Robin taking another sip of his coffee.

"Well I'm not pulling any pranks," said Beast Boy, feeling offended that Robin would immediately think that.

"Then why were you staring at her?" asked Robin.

"Dude, I was not staring," said Beast Boy chuckling.

"Beast Boy, you didn't let your eyes leave her for a second. I watched you," said Robin putting his cup down.

He had to think quick. "Uh… well, what were you watching me for?"

Robin just stared at him. He wasn't going to be thrown off of the subject that easily. "Beast Boy."

Beast Boy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What does it matter? Maybe I was curious as to what she was going to do. I mean, I've never been up this early before. And I offered to make her breakfast, and she said no, so I was going to see if she was going to make herself something after I offered to."

"That's two explanations," said Robin. "So which one was it? Or was it neither and you're hiding something from me."

"Dude, what the hell! I'm not hiding anything," said Beast Boy standing up angrily and taking his empty plate into the kitchen.

"Well if you're not, you're sure acting like you are," said Robin calmly. He took another sip of his coffee and then stopped. He watched as Beast Boy cleaned his plated and cup and put them away. An idea struck his brain. "Wait a second…" Beast Boy didn't like the sound of those words. "Do you… do you like Raven?"

Beast Boy felt his heart stop and before he could calm himself down he heard himself say, "What?" in a high squeak.

"Do you like Raven?" he asked again, his eyebrow rising once more.

"No!" he said quickly. A little too quickly. A smile spread across Robin's face.

"Oh my God," he said trying not to laugh. "You like her!"

"No I don't," he said firmly and slammed the cupboard doors.

The door of the common room swooshed open and Raven reentered with a book in her hands. Beast Boy watched as she floated down the stairs and sat down on the couch to read. He realized that he was staring at her again and looked to Robin, who had a smirk on his face. He hated Robin at that moment.

"I'm going to take a shower," said Beast Boy in an agitated voice and then left.

Raven had heard the tone in his voice and turned to see him leave. She looked to Robin and said, "What's up with him?"

Robin did his best to hold his smile back and said, "Oh, nothing. Just not a morning person I guess." Raven seemed satisfied enough with this answer and turned back to her book. Robin let the smile come out again and he chuckled to himself.

That day Beast Boy stayed away from Robin. He hated the knowing smile he would get on his face. He, of course, knew he liked Raven. He had known this for some time now. It was a crush that had grown over the past few years and now fully consumed him. Everything she did was so graceful, as if she was doing a secret dance. Her beauty shocked him and caressed him all at the same time. He couldn't believe that he had gone for years without noticing how stunning she was.

The problem was that now Robin was catching on and he couldn't afford that. He didn't want anyone to know because, well, he was embarrassed about it. And he never wanted Raven to find out. He knew that she wouldn't feel anything similar for him that he felt for her. And that was because she couldn't afford to because of her powers. And that's what really hurt. Knowing that even if she did feel the slightest of feelings for him, she could never act upon them. But even knowing this he couldn't seem to pull himself away from her. He couldn't forget her and move on. This was far different than a crush. At this point, he wasn't sure what it was.

Beast Boy sat in his room listening to music and practicing his latest video game. He was having a video game-a-thon that Saturday with Cyborg and he had to make sure he was in top condition. He was at the ninth level when he heard his door being knocked upon. He paused the game and jumped up. He casually threw open the door but felt his heart stop when he saw who was on the other side. There she stood, looking less than enthusiastic at having to be a messenger.

"Oh, hey Raven," he said trying to act as cool as possible.

"Robin's calling a meeting," she said plainly.

"What about?" asked Beast Boy, slightly nervous.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think it's anything serious," she said and then turned around and left. Beast Boy closed his door and quickly followed after her. The two walked down the hall side by side, but silently. Beast Boy couldn't help feeling his eyes wander over to her as they walked. But she looked straight ahead with her placid face being covered by the shadow of her hood.

"So… what have you been up to today?" he asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Meditating, reading, the usual," she said without a hint of emotion in her voice.

He smiled, but she kept on walking without even turning her head for a moment. They continued to walk silently until they reached the door that led to the common room. There they saw the other three Titans waiting for them.

"Okay, I got him," said Raven floating over to the other three. "So what's this meeting about?"

"Starfire had a great idea," said Robin putting his shoulder around her. "Go ahead and tell them."

"Well I have discovered a wonderful thing called kar-a-oke," said Starfire with a large smile. "And Robin says that we can go out and do some tonight."

"Alright!" said Cyborg. "I'm gonna go put on my holographic ring right now!" And he sped off. Whenever they went out they liked to dress casually so they wouldn't be recognized so quickly. His ring made him appear not only normal, but normally dressed. No one ever recognized him.

"No thank you," said Raven and she turned to leave.

Starfire quickly flew after her and stopped her. "But Raven, we all must go! Robin said so."

"Well I'm not going," she said firmly.

"Please?" pleaded Starfire. "It will not be as much fun without you."

"Trust me, it won't be fun with me," said Raven pushing past her.

"But Raven…" started Starfire again.

Raven stopped and turned around to face Starfire. "I am not going! And here's why, I don't like crowded places, I don't drink, and I know that the four of you will spend the entire night embarrassing me and trying to get me to sing. So you can all go and have fun, but I'm not going."

"Come on Raven, at least come out and support your friends," said Robin.

"What do you think I'll do?" asked Raven. "Clap and cheer or something?"

"No, but just having you there is nice," said Robin. "You're our friend."

Beast Boy had been very quiet this entire time. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew that he wanted Raven to go with them, but if he said anything he knew that Robin's suspicions would be confirmed.

"Beast Boy, do you not wish for Raven to go?" asked Starfire, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Uh… yeah, sure," he said, not exactly knowing what she had asked him.

"Does that mean you do or you don't?" asked Starfire.

"I do or don't what?" asked Beast Boy.

"Do you want Raven to come with us?" asked Robin, giving him a sly look.

Beast Boy paused for a second, trying to think of the right words. He felt all of their eyes on him, especially Ravens. "Yeah, you should come," he finally said. "That way you can find something else to make fun of me for." He gave a nervous laugh and waited for them to stop staring at him.

Cyborg returned with his ring on. "Alright, let's go!"

"Uh, we're not ready yet," said Robin.

"What? What have you guys been doin out here all this time?" asked Cyborg.

"Trying to convince Raven to join us," said Starfire. "So will you?"


	3. Karaoke

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 2

Raven sat at the table with her soda. She wasn't sure exactly how they got her to agree, but there she was. Sitting at a dirty table in a karaoke bar. Her friends were sitting all around her, being entertained by all of the mediocre, slightly drunk, singers. She was in a plain black turtleneck and a pair of jeans. She wasn't having a good time, but she wasn't having a horrible time either.

"So who's gonna go first?" asked Cyborg, sipping his beer.

"I shall!" said Starfire standing up. She was in a short pink skirt and a tight pink top. She looked like a giant red headed Barbie doll. She went over to the sign up sheet and signed her name up, as well as the song she was going to sing.

"Starfire is going to sing?" asked Raven afraid.

"Get your ear plugs ready," said Beast Boy under his breath, but loud enough for Raven to hear. He had hoped to make her giggle or smile, but no result came.

"Better yet, get another round of beer," said Raven under her breath so that Beast Boy could hear her. "Maybe her shrill voice will sound better if we're all smashed."

Beast Boy couldn't believe what he had just heard. Had she just made a joke? She did! He started to laugh, but stopped when Robin and Cyborg turned to look at him queerly. Once they turned back around he leaned into Raven and said, "Nice one."

"Thanks," she said dryly.

A few minutes later Starfire took the stage and the entire place erupted in an uproar of hoots and hollers. Men were whistling and it took all of Robins willpower to keep him from attacking them. Music began to play and she began to sing _Wannabe_ by the Spice Girls. All of the cheers soon stopped as she began to sing in her high, tone deaf voice.

"Four beers!" shouted Beast Boy to the bartender.

"I don't drink," said Raven.

"I know," said Beast Boy. "I'm getting two for me." He didn't see it, but Raven let out a small smile.

As soon as Starfire was done the room exploded with clapping and cheering. Not because they enjoyed her performance, but because she was done.

"That was so much fun!" said Starfire sitting down. "Perhaps I shall go again."

"No!" said the four Titans.

Starfire was taken aback and stared at them. "Why not?" she asked.

"Uh… we want to have a turn at some point," said Cyborg in almost a question form.

She smiled and nodded. "Then who shall go up next?"

"Maybe we should wait a little while before the rest of us go up," said Robin. "You know, watch a few more people."

"Okay," said Starfire.

An hour went by and Starfire had waited long enough. She wanted to go up, but knew she couldn't until at least one of her friends did. In that time one of the Titans had downed three beers and was feeling a bit… well… you know.

"Friends, will one of you go up now?" pleaded Starfire.

"I'll go!" said Beast Boy standing up and almost falling out of his chair.

"Uh, Beast Boy, I think you're a little too…" started Robin, but before he could finish Beast Boy was gone.

"Oh, this outta be good," said Cyborg.

Beast Boy signed up his name and in about five minutes he was up. He grabbed the microphone, after fumbling with it for about a minute and holding it upside down. He chose a song and waited for the music to start. He looked over at his friends sitting at the table and waved to them. They waved back, all but Raven who knew something bad was about to happen, and waited. The music started and Beast Boy dramatically turned around so his back was to the audience. He was tapping his foot, off beat, to the music and then turned around and began to sang.

_L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore can_

Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart and please don't break it  
Love was made for me and you  


As the trumpet instrumental came on he jumped off of the stage, or more like stumbled, and made his way over to the table. He went right up to Raven and began to sing again. She was absolutely mortified and confused as to what was going on.

_L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore can _

Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it

He got down on his knees and took her hand.

_  
Take my heart and please don't break it  
Love was made for me and you  
Love was made for me and you  
L-O-V-E love was made for me and you_

Everyone clapped and cheered as the song finished. The whole place was staring at the Titans, but more specifically at Raven and Beast Boy. She was staring at him in utter shock. Her cheeks were hot and she realized that she was blushing horribly; so horribly that she felt like she was going to be sick. She had never been so embarrassed in all her life.

Beast Boy was still on his knees staring at her. She finally stood up and ran out of the bar. Beast Boy watched her, very confused. "Where are you goin?" he called after her.

As soon as she got outside she wrapped herself in a black aura and teleported herself back to the tower, but more specifically to her room. As soon as she was in her room began to shake and be engulfed with her powers. Her emotions were raging and she struggled to maintain her control.

An hour later the other Titans returned. Cyborg and Robin helped Beast Boy to his bed and Starfire went to check on Raven. Her whole door was encased in black energy.

"Raven?" asked Starfire. "It is I, Starfire. Are you alright?" She waited, but no response came. But the door did go back to normal, so Starfire knocked upon it. "Raven?" The door slowly moved to the side and Raven was revealed. "Oh Raven, we were so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm… not sure," said Raven.

"Robin says that Beast Boy was drunk," said Starfire. "He did not know what he was doing."

"I was still mortified," said Raven.

"I am sure he is sorry for what he has done," said Starfire.

"I don't care if he's sorry," said Raven coldly. "I can never forgive him for this. Good night." And with this she closed the door, leaving Starfire all alone in the hallway. She sighed and went to talk to the other two Titans.

"How is she?" asked Robin.

"She is… upset," said Starfire. "She says that she was mort-i-fied and that she shall never forgive Beast Boy."

"Man, I knew he would act crazy up there, but I didn't think he would start hitting on Raven," said Cyborg.

"I have heard that alcohol can make one do strange things when consumed in large quantities," said Starfire. "Perhaps he did not realize he was doing the hitting on Raven."

"Oh, he knew," said Robin. "I just found out today that he likes her." The other two stared at him for a second.

"Say what?" asked Cyborg.

"Well of course he likes her," said Starfire. "We are all friends, yes? We should like each other if we're friends."

"No, I mean he _likes_ likes her, like you like me," said Robin.

"Oh," said Starfire thinking. She suddenly gasped and said, "He has the romantic feelings for her?"

"I'm pretty sure," said Robin crossing his arms. "I caught him staring at her today and when I confronted him on it he get all weird and couldn't give me an explanation for why he was looking at her."

"Well he's probably ruined any chance of getting together with her, if he ever had a chance at all," said Cyborg.

"Perhaps if we were to tell Raven that Beast Boy has the feelings for her, then she would not be so upset," said Starfire.

"I doubt it," said Robin. "Anyway, if anyone should tell her, it should be him."

"Robin, that's like a death sentence," said Cyborg.

"Yeah I know," sighed Robin. They all said goodnight and headed for their rooms; Starfire and Robin going to Robins.


	4. What Did I Do?

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 3

Beast Boy woke up with a splitting headache. He felt sick to his stomach and confused. He could barely remember the night before, let alone how he got in his bed. He crawled down the ladder of his bunk bed, tripping off of the last three, and made his way for the bathroom. The light of the morning sun was like a knife in his swollen brain. He moaned and made his way to the bathroom down the hall. He stumbled in and relieved his full bladder, and ailing stomach. After a few good heaves he splashed his face with water and dried it off. He grabbed a few aspirin for his headache and downed them as quickly as possible.

Robin was heading towards Beast Boy's room, to make sure he was still alive, when that very person emerged from the bathroom. He was holding his head and looked ill. Robin sighed and went over to his hung over friend.

"I see you survived the night," said Robin.

"Dude! Not so loud," cried Beast Boy, supporting himself on the wall. He hadn't seen Robin walking down the hall and had been surprised when the guy spoke to him from out of nowhere.

"Sorry," said Robin a little softer. "How do you feel?"

"Really shitty," said Beast Boy rubbing his temples.

"Well I should think so," said Robin. "I've never seen you that drunk before. I'm going to guess that that's the last time it will happen." He said this in his leader tone.

"Yeah, I know," said Beast Boy as the two started to walk back to his room. "No more drinking more than… how many did I have last night? It's all kinda fuzzy."

"I think I'm gonna limit you to two beers a night," said Robin. "Until you know your limit. Sound fair?"

"Sure," said Beast Boy as they reached his door. "So what happened last night?"

"You don't remember?" asked Robin.

"Like I said, everything's fuzzy," said Beast Boy stretching.

"I'd love to tell you what happened," said Robin. "But I think I'll wait until you're feeling better."

"Why? What happened?" asked Beast Boy growing concerned.

"I'll tell you when you're headache is gone," said Robin and then turned to leave.

"I did something stupid, didn't I," said Beast Boy. Robin stopped and sighed. Beast Boy didn't like that reaction. "Oh God, what did I do?" Robin didn't budge and now Beast Boy felt sick. "Robin, please tell me what I did."

"Get some rest, Beast Boy," said Robin over his shoulder. "We'll talk about it later."

Raven hadn't been seen all morning, except for when she came out to make herself a pot of tea, which she brought back into her room. She hadn't made eye contact with any of her friends. The embarrassment she had felt was still lingering in her stomach. She knew that her friends would try to talk to her and make her feel better, but the last thing she wanted was to talk.

Starfire was making a batch of pudding that she said was to help heal one who has been embarrassed. She was a flutter of emotions and so the guys felt that it was better for her to just get her feelings out by cooking. She felt sorry for Raven because she had been embarrassed. She felt nervous for Beast Boy who was probably going to be killed by Raven. She felt sad that her two friends would probably never be friends again. She felt depressed that Beast Boy had ruined any chance he had of wooing Raven and stealing her heart. Yes, Starfire was not at all a happy girl.

"I do hope Raven will have some of the Embarrassment of a Friend pudding," said Starfire anxiously.

"I hope you don't get upset when she doesn't eat it," said Cyborg as he was cleaning the dishes of that morning's breakfast.

"You do not think she will try it?" asked Starfire.

"Has she ever eaten anythin you've made?" asked Cyborg.

Starfire thought and then sighed. "Perhaps I should have made something different."

Robin entered and the two other Titans looked up. "Well he's alive," said Robin. "But he doesn't have a clue as to what he did last night."

"So we hafta tell him that he's signed a death certificate with Raven?" asked Cyborg.

Starfire gave a sad whine and said, "Must she kill him? Is there nothing we can do? I do not wish to lose friend Beast Boy."

"She's not going to actually kill him, Star," said Robin. "Speaking of which, has she come out of her room yet?"

"Nope," said Cyborg. "The only time I saw her was when I was just gettin up and she was headin back into her room with a pretty big pot of tea."

"I am sure that she does not wish to be disturbed," said Starfire.

"I can only imagine who she feels right now," said Robin. "You guys realize that she'll never come out with us again, right?"

"Oh, I wish I had not forced her to come with us last night," said Starfire. "If I had let her stay home then she would not have become so embarrassed and Beast Boy would not have made himself a fool and they would not be about to have a horrible fight."

"How d'ya know they're gonna fight?" asked Cyborg.

"They do the fighting all the time for no reason," said Starfire. "And now they have a reason! It shall be a horrible argument indeed."

"They don't really fight, Star," said Robin. "Raven just yells at him, he never fights back. Fights need two people to work."

"Then they will be having a one person fight," said Starfire, very upset at this point. "It does not matter what it is called! There shall be yelling soon enough and then their friendship shall finally snap and then we will all separate and all will be lost!"

"Star, ya really need to calm down," said Cyborg. "I'm sure Raven's just goin to ignore Beast Boy for a while… or the rest of her life. Either way, they're probably won't be much yelling."

Two hours later Beast Boy entered the common room. His headache was gone and he was feeling a little better. He saw Starfire consuming her own pudding sadly and Robin and Cyborg playing video games together. As soon as he entered they all turned to see who it was.

"Hey guys," said Beast Boy. They each gave him an odd look. "Uh… I was wondering if you could tell me about what happened last night."

"I can not," said Starfire standing up. "If I am needed I shall be within my bedroom with my Embarrassment of a Friend pudding." And with that she flew off.

"Jesus, I embarrassed myself that bad?" asked Beast Boy walking over to his two guy friends who were sitting on the couch.

"Not exactly," said Cyborg.

"Not exactly?" asked Beast Boy. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You might want to sit down," said Robin.

The three moved to the kitchen table. Beast Boy felt very nervous about the information he was about to receive. He knew it was nothing positive. "Okay, I'm ready," said Beast Boy. "What happened?"

"Well… ya kinda did some karaoke," said Cyborg.

"Oh God," said Beast Boy. "I didn't sing a Brittany Spears song, did I?"

"No," said Robin. "Much worse."

"What could be worse than that?" asked Beast Boy. "Oh no… it wasn't _Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun_, was it?"

"No," said Cyborg. "But that would've been funny."

"Beast Boy, it wasn't the song you were singing," said Robin. "It was who you were singing to."

Beast Boy suddenly felt his stomach twist. "Who… who was I singing to?" Robin and Cyborg looked at each other. Beast Boy felt like he was going to be sick again. "Please don't tell me it was… Raven."

"Oh yeah," said Cyborg.

"Oh God!" he said placing his face on the table and covering his head with his hands. "What did I sing to her?" he asked, not wanting to know that answer.

"L-O-V-E," said Robin.

Beast Boy's head sprung up, his eyes large. "You've got to be kidding."

"Sorry, man," said Cyborg. "And you were really into it, too. You jumped off the stage and got on one knee and everything."

"NO!" screamed Beast Boy and he began to slam his head into the table.

"Beast Boy, stop," said Robin grabbing his head.

"How could I have done something like that?" he asked standing up in disgust. "Just poured my heart out to her in a drunken song? Well that's it; I'm off of alcohol forever!"

"Yeah, she wasn't all that happy," said Cyborg.

Beast Boy stopped and looked at them. "What did she do when I did that?"

"Well, she waited until the end of the song and then ran out of there as fast as she could," said Robin. "We couldn't find her anywhere. Turns out she came back here and locked herself in the room. She hasn't really come out since."

"Oh, this is the worst day in my life," groaned Beast Boy. "How that hell am I gonna talk my way out of this one? She's never gonna forgive me. She barely tolerated me before! Why? Why did I do that?"

"So… you do like her?" asked Cyborg, just to make sure.

"Well it's obvious now, isn't it?" he shouted at them.

"I knew it," said Robin smugly. "But what I want to know is how long this has been going on."

"Quite a while," said Beast Boy.

"Well you sure were hidin it well," said Cyborg. "I mean, I hadn't a clue until last night."

"And I only figured it out yesterday," said Robin.

"Well this is why I didn't want you guys to know," said Beast Boy. "I knew you would just give me shit about it."

"Calm down, man," said Cyborg. "We're not gonna give ya shit about it. It's just… well, odd."

"I know," said Beast Boy. "Trust me, I know. It took me a long time to finally accept my feelings for her, it was weird. But once I did I found myself infatuated with her."

"Wow," said Robin. "I didn't even know you knew that word. This must be serious."

"You have no idea," said Beast Boy sadly. He suddenly felt very depressed. All of the years of carefully hiding his crush had been thrown away in one three minute song. He wasn't sure what he was gonna do now. He had already tried to ignore his feelings for her, but that hadn't worked. So now he was not only going to have to live knowing that he could never have her, he would have to live knowing that she probably hated him.


	5. Appologies

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 4

He stood outside of her door. He hadn't told the others that he was going to attempt to talk to her, because he knew they would just tell him that it was committing suicide. But he figured that he really couldn't make the situation any worse. Now all he had to do was pick up his hand and place it against the door three times in a rhythmic fashion. Such a simple action. Even a baby could knock on a door if persuaded. This was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

After about five minutes of arguing with himself in his head he found his hand moving up and finally knocking. He didn't even feel attached to it; like someone else was controlling him. The moment he did it he regretted it and wanted to run. But he couldn't stop now. He swallowed what little spit he had to try and coat his dry throat and began to speak.

"Raven? It's me. I know what I did last night was really… wrong. The truth is that I don't really remember what I did. All I know is that I really embarrassed you and for that I am totally sorry. I know that you probably will never forgive me and will hate me until the end of time, but I just want you to know that I really am sorry. And if you choose to never speak to me again I totally think I deserve it. Well… that's it. I just wish I could have said this to your face instead of through the door."

He waited a few seconds, just incase she was going to respond. She didn't. He sighed and turned around to leave. He had gone two steps when he heard, "Why me?"

He quickly turned around and saw himself face to face with her. He hadn't heard her door open or anything. She was so stealthy sometimes it really was a wonder. He guessed that she must have teleported into the hall.

"What?" he asked, after the shock had passed.

"Why did you have to sing to me?" she asked. Her hood was pulled up and all he could see were her pale, deep gray lips.

"I don't know," he said, trying to sound like he genuinely hadn't a clue. He couldn't tell her that he was secretly sweet on her. "I really can't remember what I did."

"You sang a love song to me, stumbled off the stage, took my hand, and got down on one knee," she said, trying to keep her emotions out of the conversation. "I just want to know why me? You could have sung to any other girl in the room, but you came straight to me. Your eyes never left me for a second."

Beast Boy felt his heart racing and his tongue and throat go as dry as sand. He began to choke, but he attempted to act nonchalantly. "I honestly don't know why I…"

"I know, I know," said Raven sighing. "I'll probably never get an answer, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop asking that question. And the fact is that you mortified me out in public and now I can never show my face again. I can not forgive you right now, so stop apologizing. But maybe someday in the far far future I can find it in my heart to forgive you. But not now." And with that she retreated back into her room.

Beast Boy sighed and closed his eyes. "I sang to you because I like you," he said in a very soft whisper. "I like you a lot." He turned and decided to go back to his room. He suddenly felt very tired and a tad sick again.

Raven sat on her bed and sighed a long sigh. Why did these things always have to happen to her? Why couldn't they happen to someone else for a change? Of course she knew that this wasn't true, but when something bad happened to her she always felt like she was singled out.

Her anger towards Beast Boy hadn't left entirely, but it had dulled down a bit. She was really angry that he couldn't give her an answer as to why he had done what had had done. That was the only thing she wanted to know. Why did he choose her? What, in all his drunken glory, could have possessed him to sing a song like that to her?

There came another set of knocks upon her door that startled her out of her thoughts. 'Who could it be now?' she thought.

"Raven, it's Robin."

"Of course," she said to herself. She got up and opened the door. "Can I help you?"

"I was just making sure you were okay," said Robin. "We haven't seen you all day. Beast Boy is really sorry about what he said…"

"I know," said Raven. "He came and apologized to me."

"He did?" asked Robin, shocked.

"Yes, he did," said Raven. "He also says that he can't even remember last night and can't give me an explanation for his actions."

"Well, he was pretty drunk," said Robin. "But he promised to cut down on the drinking so something… like that… doesn't happen again. Anyway, do you need anything? You haven't eaten all day and it's almost dinner time. We were gonna go out for pizza."

"No!" she said quickly. "I mean… no thank you. I still have some meditation to do. Wouldn't want me to blow up the tower now, do we."

"Okay, but if you need anything…"

She shut the door quickly. She really didn't want to go out. She could never show her face outside again. She knew everyone would be pointing and laughing at her. She couldn't handle that. She just couldn't.

Robin looked at the cold steal door in front of him and sighed. He knew where he had to go now. He had to find Beast Boy and ask him what the hell he was thinking when he went to talk to Raven.

Beast Boy was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He hadn't felt this low in a long time. He hated feeling this way, but he couldn't help it. Hey, that sounds kind of familiar. So he lay there letting the time pass by as slowly as it wanted to.

A repetition of knocks invaded the sanctity of his quiet thoughts. "Come in," he sighed.

Robin entered and saw Beast Boy lying on his bed looking very depressed. At first he was going to scold the guy for talking to Raven, now he just felt sorry for him. "Hey Beast Boy."

"Hi Robin," he said in a low voice. "What's up?"

"I heard that you talked to Raven," he said, venturing into the mess that was Beast Boy's room.

"Yeah, and I survived to tell the tale," he said, trying to cover his depression with humor. "And I know you're probably going to tell me that it was a bad idea, I know. I just felt like I had to say that I was sorry to her face. I didn't want you guys to say it for me."

"You took a big risk," said Robin.

"I know," sighed Beast Boy.

Robin watched Beast Boy, who was just lying on his top bunk, twiddling his fingers. He had never seen the guy likes this before. At least, not in a long while. "You really like her that much?"

"Yeah," said Beast Boy sadly. "I don't know why."

"Well, I know this sounds stupid, but have you tried to just ignore her?" asked Robin. "You know, push her out of your mind?"

Beast Boy began to chuckle and he sat up and turned so he could face Robin. "Dude, I've been trying to do that ever since I realized I liked her! I knew that it was a stupid crush and that if I just ignored it it would go away. But after a while it didn't. No matter what I've tried over the years I can't get her out of my mind."

Robin couldn't believe he hadn't noticed this sooner. How could Beast Boy have hidden this affection he had for Raven this well? The guy couldn't even tell a joke without ruining the punch line. "How long, exactly, have you felt this way for her? I mean, I know you said years, but can you pin point it?"

"Yeah, I can," said Beast Boy. "I can tell you very instant I started to feel something different for her. It was right after I found out that Terra was no longer stone and she rejected me. I was feeling so depressed that I went up to the roof a lot to think. Then, one day, Raven came up to see how I was. I told her that I was upset about Terra and she said that I shouldn't be. That I should just move on, like Terra had. And then, I don't what it was Robin, but the sun hit her just the right way and… something changed. She looked… beautiful. And I'm not talking about movie star beautiful, or cover girl beautiful, or even that hot waitress at the pizza shop beautiful. Just naturally beautiful. I had never seen anything like it in my enter life. That's when it happened. That's the exact moment it happened."

Robin just stared at Beast Boy. He was secretly beating himself up inside. Here he had thought himself to be one of the world's best detectives and he couldn't even see this happening right in front of him! "Beast Boy… I never knew that you…"

"Yeah, I know," said Beast Boy. "That's why I didn't want you guys to know. That's why I don't want Raven to know. How can I tell her that I know the exact moment I found her to be the most beautiful girl I had ever seen? And I knew you guys wouldn't believe that I, Beast Boy, could feel and think like this. I'm not exactly known for being deep, you know?"

"Yeah," said Robin with a slight chuckle.

"And now I've blown it big time," said Beast Boy lying back down. "She said that because of me she can never go out in public again. Do you have any idea how that feels? I just want to crawl up and die!" He put his pillow over his face and let out a long sigh. He sure had been sighing a lot lately. The whole tower seemed to be sighing along with him.

Robin hated seeing him like this. The poor guy! He's practically in love with Raven and he'll never be able to tell her how he feels. Or maybe… "Maybe you should tell her how you feel."

Beast Boy was still for a moment and then threw the pillow from his face. "What!"

"Maybe you should tell Raven how you feel about her," said Robin again. "It would definitely explain why you sang to her and she may even go easier on you. Besides, you can't just watch her from afar for the rest of your life."

"Robin, are you insane?" said Beast Boy. "I can't just go up to her and tell her I like her!"

"Why not?" asked Robin. "You've practically done it already. I think that it would do more good than bad if you told her how you felt."

"I… I don't think I can," said Beast Boy growing quiet.

"Well, then, you have to make a choice," said Robin in his leader tone once more. "Either confess to Raven and tell her that you like her, or get over her and move on."

"I can't get over her," said Beast Boy looking at the floor.

"Then you only have one other option," said Robin.


	6. In One Swift Motion

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 5

Raven looked out into the hallway and saw that the coast was clear. She was starving and really had to use the bathroom because of that whole pot of tea she drank. She slowly and cautiously moved through the quiet hallway. She guessed that the others must have gone to their rooms for the night, not to bed, though, since it was early. She first went to the bathroom and then made her way into the kitchen.

She sat down at the table with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and another cup of tea. As she took her first bite she felt much better. She tended to get cranky if she hadn't eaten in over two days. She seemed to be able to go without eating no problem. The others weren't sure how she survived on tea and eating one meal every other day.

As she finished one half of her sandwich she paused to sip her tea. Then she heard the common room doors swoosh open behind her. She groaned silently and wondered who it was. She could handle it if it was Robin or Cyborg or maybe even Starfire, but not…

"Uh… hi Raven."

Beast Boy.

"Can I help you?" she asked coldly.

"I was, um, wondering if I could talk to you."

"What did I tell you earlier?" she hissed. "I don't want to talk to you for a very long time. I don't even want to see you right now."

"I know, but this is really important," said Beast Boy sitting down across from her. "It's… it's about last night."

"What? Some of your drunken memories flood back to you?" she said, trying to suppress her anger for him.

"No," said Beast Boy. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't. She hated him, and with good reason. She would really never speak to him again if he revealed his secret to her. Worse yet, she may even leave the Titans! He had never thought of that. What if she was so upset that she just decided to leave, to get away from him? No, he couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

"Then what is it?" she finally asked. He had been quiet and staring into space for the last minute and what little patience she had was running short.

"Nothing," he said at last and stood up to leave.

Raven starred at him and watched him leave. 'What the hell was that about?' she asked herself. "Beast Boy, you came to tell me something, so tell me," she ordered.

"It's nothing, really," said Beast Boy. "I shouldn't have bothered you."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," she said going back to her sandwich.

That last comment just about broke Beast Boy's heart. She really did hate him. She truly and honestly hated him. Maybe he should choose the second option. Just forget about her and move on. But he had tried that many times and had failed in each attempt. He really was at a dead end now.

"That was mean," he heard her say suddenly.

"What?" he asked.

"I said that what I just said was mean," sighed Raven. "Listen, you know that I'm very upset right now and yet you still came up to me to talk to me. So, please, just tell me what you wanted to say."

"Raven I… can't," said Beast Boy.

"Why can't you?" asked Raven.

"Because… I don't know," he said hanging his head. "Because I'm a coward I guess."

"A coward?" asked Raven. "Beast Boy, what in the world are you trying to tell me?"

"Please, just forget that I said anything," said Beast Boy.

"Well I can't now," said Raven. "You tease me with a bit of information and then you refuse to tell me? This is just ridiculous at this point. Now tell me what you want to tell me."

"You don't understand," said Beast Boy looking up at her. "I can't tell you. To tell you what I need to tell you would just cause both of us pain and I don't want to hurt you anymore. I've already ruined our friendship with that stupid karaoke night and I don't want to do anything that might cause any more harm."

Raven just looked at him, shocked. He was looking at the floor again and she actually felt… sorry for him. She could feel the pain he was feeling and she knew that whatever was on his mind was really troubling him. As much as she had hated him the minute before, she didn't like to see him like this. Whether she liked it or not, he was her friend and she wouldn't be a good friend by letting him feel this way. She slowly stood up and went over to him. "Beast Boy, whatever it is… you can tell me. And… and I promise I won't get mad. So what is it? Did you break something of mine?"

Beast Boy looked up and saw that she was so close to him. She was staring right into his eyes with her own violet ones. "No."

"Did you go in my room?"

"No."

"Did you see me in the shower then? What is it?"

"I can't tell you!"

"Why not?"

"I just can't!"

"Beast Boy please tell me!"

Then he did it. He did it before his mind even knew he had done it. In one quick motion he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her with all the passion that had been building up over the years. He kissed her so suddenly that she didn't even have time to think, nor did he. He had just done it, as if, once again, he had been controlled by another person. In that kiss he revealed everything to her. What was in his mind, in his heart, every secret feeling he had for her. It was all exposed in this one quick action.

In reality it only lasted three seconds. That's when Raven's powers suddenly blasted the two apart, sending each ten feet backwards. They both ended up tumbling onto the ground and landing on their backs.

Raven lay there for a few seconds, trying to figure out what had just happened. But by the time she sat up to ask Beast Boy why he had done that, he was gone. She sat there in a daze. She touched her lips, which were still tingling, and felt that her heart was still racing.

Beast Boy had gotten out of there as fast as he could, before Raven could really respond. He turned into a fly and flew out of there and into the hallway leading to his room.

"What the hell was I thinking?" he screamed at himself once he made it to his room. "Why did I do that? I can't believe I just did that! She's never gonna be able to talk to me again. Hell! She won't even be able to look at me again. I've really done it now. What an idiot! What a fucking idiot!" He began to hit his head against the wall he was so furious with himself.

Raven finally got to her feet, though she felt like she was going to fall back down to her knees. All of the confusion she had felt before was now quadrupled. Had it really happened? Had Beast Boy just… kissed her? Or had she had some bad reaction to her peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Was it all a peanut induced dream? No… no, it couldn't have been. Why else had she been on the floor? Why could she feel her emotions skipping around inside of her?

She had to talk to him. If she didn't then they never would be able to talk about it. She had to do it now and avoid the horrible awkwardness they would feel later. Not that they wouldn't feel any less awkward now in this moment. She calmed herself and then headed for his room, where she guessed him to be.

Beast Boy was sitting on his floor. He didn't know why. He was sick of being up in his bed, maybe. Or maybe he really didn't know where he belonged anymore. Everything was so topsy turvy. His head was swimming with a million thoughts and regrets. Soft knocks fell upon his ears. He looked to the door and his heart stopped. She wouldn't be there. There wasn't a snowflake's chance in Hell that she was there. It must have been someone else. But he didn't want to talk to anyone, anyway, so what did it matter if it was her or not? It did matter, a great deal.

"Beast Boy, may I come in?" he heard her voice say. The sound of her voice rose him up and broke him down at the same time. How was that possible? It was her. It was the magic of her being. The magic she held over him.

"Yes," he said. He didn't even realized that he had said it. He didn't want her to come in; and yet he wanted her there with him. He was split in two, and he wasn't sure which half was winning. It seemed to be the one that took over his body and gave him no say in what he was doing.

She slowly opened his door and looked inside. She saw him, sitting in the middle of the piles of clothes and other various piles that littered his room. He was looking up at her and as their eyes met she saw the pain he was feeling. There was something in his eyes that she had never seen before and it captivated her.

She closed the door and moved over to him. He sighed and found the strength to stand up. She stood about three feet from him. Just close enough to talk, but not close enough to feel awkward.

"Look, about what I just did," said Beast Boy. "I'm… really sorry."

"Why did you do it?" she asked, unable to look in his eyes. He had some trouble looking to hers as well.

"It's… complicated," said Beast Boy.

"I don't think it is," said Raven. "I think it's something that's… confusing, but I don't think it's complicated. But I need to know… what is it?"

"Don't you know?" asked Beast Boy in a laugh that almost sound like he was going to cry. "Don't you know now?"

"Beast Boy, please… just come out and say it to me," said Raven, feeling her heart race. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

"Raven I… I… I like you," he said, looking at the floor and closing his eyes. These words pained him as much as they relieved him to say them.

"You… you like me?" asked Raven.

"Yes," said Beast Boy, trying to stay strong. He felt so pitiful, so pathetic. Like a serf who tells a princess that he loves her. It sounds idiotic to the princess, but it's the most important thing the serf's ever done. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?" asked Raven. She had never, in all the years they knew each other, seen him like this. This was a completely different Beast Boy. Like he was aging before her eyes; maturing into the man he was to be for the rest of his life. A transformation was taking place, and Raven was witnessing it.

"I'm sorry that I feel this way about you," said Beast Boy. "I'm sorry that it's because of these feelings that I embarrassed you last night. I'm sorry that I just kissed you. And I'm just…. I'm just sorry, Raven."

Raven looked up at him, since he was now taller than her, and tried to now catch his eyes. She wanted to see them, to see if they had changed along with the rest of him in that moment. She could feel the energy around him shift and even his voice seem to deepen and hold more wisdom than it had before. But he did not look up at her. He couldn't. These words that were escaping his lips, they were attached to his heart. And with every word he spoke he felt a bit of his heart being torn away.

"Beast Boy… this thing, what you feel for me, it's just a crush," said Raven, trying to sound normal, but failing. "It will go away."

"No it won't," said Beast Boy desperately and shaking his head. "As much as I want it to, it just won't, Raven. You have no idea how long I've spent trying to get you out of my mind. Trying not to watch you when you make your tea because I think it's cute how you scrunch your nose up on that first sip. Trying not to gaze upon your beauty when you're meditating in the sunshine in front of the window in the common room." At this point he looked up finally and caught her eyes. "Trying to avoid your captivating violet eyes when you rarely speak to me, not scold me. Trying to hear any trace of a giggle in your sarcasm." He reached up to her face with his left hand softly brushed her cheek. "Trying to stop myself from dedicating every moment I have with you to making you smile."

The feel of Beast Boy's hand on her cheek made Raven's heart race and the cheek he was touching to blush, just as the other was. The words he was speaking to her, she had never heard anyone talk to her in such a way. It was beautiful and made her see him in a totally different light. And she closed her eyes in that moment, without knowing why.

She then felt something creeping into her eyes. Tears? Yes, they were tears. She was crying? He had moved her to tears! No, she had to get out of there. She opened her eyes quickly and took a step back. "I… I have to go," she said and then turned and ran out of the room.

When she reached her room everything was moving about and exploding. Her emotions were all over the place and she knew that there would be no calming them any time soon. She closed her door and pressed her back up against it. Her heart was still racing, as was her mind. She placed her hand to her mouth, as if she had gasped, and closed her eyes. The tears she had been trying to hold back poured down her cheeks. But they were the only ones she would allow. She was not meant to cry.


	7. Everything Can Be Fixed Right?

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 6

Beast Boy stood out on the rocks that lay on the shore of the island that held his home, the T tower. After Raven had run away from him the night before he hadn't been able to pull himself together to do anything. He had lied down on his bed, but sleep never came. He had gotten up and tried to eat breakfast, but his appetite had disappeared. He had tried to play video games, but his fingers just couldn't seem to remember where the buttons were. His actions were really worrying the other Titans.

So now he stood upon the shore, looking out over the horizon. It was almost lunch time, but he could not feel the hunger that was tearing at his stomach. He was already in enough pain. How he wished he could just change in a bird and fly out into the horizon, never stopping. Just enjoying the flight and never letting it end. Never having to worry again. Never having to feel anything for anyone, not even himself, again. Now, he knew that he had the ability to turn into a bird, he just didn't have the strength to actually lift off and fly.

A cool breeze passed him and made his arms quiver and cover with goose bumps. He looked down and saw a small pool of water that held a solitary crab. It was just scuttling about with no real purpose. Just going about its daily business and waiting for the tide to come back in so that he may return back to his home in the sea. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had more in common with that little crab than with anyone else on the island. But he bet that that crab had a nice little wife crab and a few little crab children.

Slowly he bent down and moved the crab into his hand. It was a little hesitant, but did crawl into his palm after he persuaded him with his finger. Beast Boy stood up and made his way down to the water. He knelt down and let the crab go. Its little legs moved quickly and soon it was back in the water and heading for his little crab home, under a rock somewhere with his little crab family.

"That was nice of you," he heard her say.

He knew it was her, and somehow he had known when she had arrived. He sighed and stood back up. He turned around and saw her standing there. Her cloak was blown out from around her by the cool breeze that had chilled him minutes before. "Well, the little guy needed to get back home," he said with a nervous, forced smile. "And that's our job, anyway. To help the helpless."

Raven took a few steps over to him. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he was living in that little pool you scooped him out of?"

Beast Boy hadn't really thought about that. But, why would he live in a little pool of water? He walked back over to the little pool, which lay at Ravens feet, and looked in. "Why would he live here?"

Raven used her powers to move one of the rocks that lie in the pool. Under it lie another crab and two little baby crabs. Beast Boy had broken up the little crab family he had pictured. He had just grabbed this poor little crab's husband and thrown him back into the ocean that he had probably spent his whole life escaping. Beast Boy's ears drooped.

"Oh crud," he said in a sigh.

"I haven't heard you use that phrase in a while," said Raven. "Usual you say… something else."

"Shit?" said Beast Boy looking over at her.

"Yeah, shit," said Raven plainly.

Beast Boy gave her a weak smile and sat down beside the placid little pool. "I just can't do anything right lately, can I?" he said sadly.

"Not necessarily," said Raven. She slowly sat down next to him. "You're intentions were good. You just never asked the crab if he wanted to leave."

"Well… it's too late now," said Beast Boy in a sigh. "I've probably sentenced the poor creature to death out there."

"Maybe, maybe not," said Raven. She lifted her hand and a black aura encased it and pushed out into the water. Beast Boy watched as the little crab he had let loose into the water was brought back in a little black orb of Ravens powers. She placed it back down with its family.

"You always know how to save the day," he said with a sad smile.

She grabbed the rock that had once covered the crab family with her powers and moved it into his hand. "Why don't you fix the home you've broken?" she said in a calm, almost kind voice.

Beast Boy looked down into the pool and saw that four little crabs. He gently placed the rock back to where he found it and the crabs made their way for it. He had the funny feeling they were cursing up a storm at him.

"See? Everything can be fixed," said Raven.

Beast Boy chuckled softly to himself. "I know what you're trying to do," he said. "But I know that what I've done can never be fixed."

"Beast Boy, you can't help your emotions," said Raven. "Trust me, I know. I may not show them, but that doesn't mean that they're not there, fighting to get out. So don't apologize for being human; it's all natural. And don't apologize for what you said to me last night."

"I made you run out of the room," he laughed bitterly. "Why wouldn't you want me to apologize for doing that?"

"Just because I ran doesn't mean I didn't like what you said and want you to take it all back," said Raven.

"Then what do you want me to do?" he asked, turning to her.

"I haven't asked anything of you," said Raven. "I'm just trying to talk to you about what happened. About you kissing me, about you telling me that you like me, about the words you spoke to me. I just want everything to be cleared up so my mind can think straight."

"Yeah, I know what that's like," said Beast Boy. "I haven't been able to think straight for years, if I ever could in the first place. My whole life's so fuzzy; I can't remember what's real and what's your sarcasm from over the years."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. They listened to the water lap upon the rocky shore and watched as various boats and such moved about the water. The cool breeze blew once more and Raven wrapped herself up in her cloak. Beast Boy just ignored it.

"Beast Boy, you know that I can't feel what you feel for me," said Raven at last in a sigh.

"Yeah, I know," said Beast Boy in a defeated tone. "I've always known that you didn't feel anything like what I felt for you."

"No, it's not that," said Raven. "I _can't_ feel anything for you. It's just… not allowed, because of my powers. I'm… not meant to love, Beast Boy. It's forbidden to me and I've accepted it. Now, I need to know that you accept it, too."

"I don't think I can," said Beast Boy shaking his head. "And if you can't feel love or anything, then what was that whole deal with Malchior, then?"

"Malchior… hurt me deeply," said Raven looking away from him. "And I have realized that when I do feel certain emotions I become weak, and I can not have that. Not as long as I am a Titan and have a responsibility to the city and the world."

"So, your powers become weak?" he asked.

"No, I become weak," said Raven. "My soul, my very being. I have to be focused at all times and developing crushes and such just isn't allowed. I hope you can understand. You can feel all you want for me, but I can never repay you with feelings of my own. It's… just how things are for me."

"I can't believe you've accepted that," said Beast Boy. "I don't know how you can do it."

"It's not easy," said Raven sadly.

"No, what I mean is that after all you've been through, you believe that this can't be changed," said Beast Boy. "Didn't you learn anything when Trigon came? Not everything you believe is true really is. You thought that you would end the world and that your father would rule over it for all eternity."

"Beast Boy, I did end the world," said Raven looking away painfully. She hated thinking about it. Too many painful memories.

"Yeah, but then you saved it," said Beast Boy. "The prophecy might have come true, but it wasn't final. You did become the portal and Trigon did come, but here we are! What you thought was going to happen didn't happen."

"Is there any particular reason you're bringing all of this up?" she asked bitterly.

Beast Boy sighed. "Just because you think that you can't feel love or anything doesn't mean that it's true."

They looked at each other for a few minutes, silently. Then Raven sighed and looked away from him. "Beast Boy, I don't feel for you what you feel for me," she said plainly. She slowly stood up and looked out over the horizon. "Once again, I ask for you to accept that." She turned and headed back to the tower.

Beast Boy closed his eyes and leaned back, so that he was now lying on the rock. He looked up at the blue sky with patches of clouds here and there. It might have been a hurricane outside, for all he cared. This day was turning out to be even worse than the one before.

"She doesn't like me," he said to himself at last. "But I knew that. I've known that all along. There was no way she could feel anything close to what I feel for her. But then why does it still hurt? It's like putting the wrong answers on a test and then flunking it and feeling sad that you didn't do better. It's just stupid. Oh well, you got a kiss out of it, anyway. And she didn't kill you, which was nice. Thank goodness she's not one to kiss and tell or anything."

As much as he was talking, it wasn't helping. He didn't want to accept that she couldn't feel anything for him. Stupid Malchior. He ruined everything. If he hadn't tricked her like that than maybe she would feel a little more secure in feeling her emotions.

"Wait a second! Did she say that she liked what I said last night?" he said to himself suddenly and sat up. "She said that she didn't want me to apologize and that she liked what I said to her! Maybe… maybe she does like me. Maybe not in the way that I like her, but maybe more than I thought she had before. She actually likes me… as a friend. It's not much, but it's a start!" He quickly jumped to his feet and began to run back into the tower.


	8. Leave Me Alone!

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 7

Raven went into her room and locked the door. She felt very uneasy and needed to relax. She had originally gone outside to tell Beast Boy that she just wanted to be friends with him, nothing more. Because she couldn't be anything more and she was afraid to be anything more. She had just hoped that he would accept that fact that she couldn't be with him because of his powers. But he was smarter now, and had a better memory than she thought. He just had to bring up… him.

She sighed and went over to her bed. She lay down and closed her eyes. She needed to straighten her mind out, but not in the meditation sense. She had to deal with the memories Malchior left with her and the pain. Why? Why did Beast Boy have to bring him up?

That wasn't the only thing she was thinking about. She thought about the other things he had said. About her just accepting that she couldn't feel love because of her powers. 'What does he know?' she asked herself angrily. 'It's nothing like the whole "prophecy" thing! Or was it? No, definitely not! I refuse for it to be. Nothing can be done about this. And I don't want anything to be done. I don't want to be tricked again. I don't want to be hurt.'

Suddenly there came a series of quick, loud knocks on her door. Someone was pummeling her door with their fist. She knew who it was and she wondered what he could possibly want now.

"What is it, Beast Boy?" she asked agitated.

"I need to talk to you," he said, with almost a cheerful tone in his voice.

"I think we've talked enough for today," said Raven.

"Please, let me in," he said.

Raven sighed and covered her face with her hand. She was getting tired of it. "Fine," she said.

Beast Boy slide her door open and entered. He saw her sprawled out on her bed with her hands covering her face. She did not look too happy; she looked kind of stressed out.

"Well? What is it?" asked Raven.

"I want to talk to you about last night," he said going over to her.

"Beast Boy, I don't want to talk about it anymore," said Raven sitting up. "We've said all we've needed to say."

"No, we haven't," said Beast Boy. He sat down next to her, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable. "You said that you didn't want me to take back what I said last night."

"Yeah, and?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"So… did you like what I said?" he asked with a slight smile.

Raven had forgotten that she had said that. "Uh… well, I guess so," she said looking away. She quickly looked back at him and added, "But anyone would like being flattered."

"You were flattered?" asked Beast Boy smiling even larger.

'Damn! Wrong choice of words!' she thought to herself. "Oh, well, what I meant was that you said very nice things about me and everyone likes to be given positive reinforcement."

"So, you did like what I said," he said unable to get rid of his grin.

"Well, if you put it that way, then yes," she sighed and crossed her arms. "Is that all? Or do you have something else to talk to me about?"

"What about… the kiss?" he asked a little hesitantly.

'Damn it all to Hell!' she thought angrily. "What?" she asked, her cheeks blushing.

"The kiss, you didn't get mad at me for it," he said, feeling his own cheeks blushing.

"Do you want me to?" she snapped.

"No!" he said quickly. "I just want to know… why?"

"I didn't exactly have time to think about it," said Raven growing angry. "Now that I am thinking about it, though, I am angry. Now get out!"

"No, you're just saying that because you think that's what I expect of you," said Beast Boy. "Tell me what you really thought of it."

"I didn't think anything of it!" she said, her powers tossing a few of her books and things about. "Why won't you leave me alone? Don't you get it? I don't like you!" She got off of her bed and stormed out of her room.

"Now where are you going?" he asked standing up himself.

"Away from you!" she yelled, causing her light to explode.

Beast Boy quickly followed her out and ran after her. "Just leaving won't make everything go away," he said once he caught up to her. She was walking very fast and very angrily.

"Obviously! You're still here," she said trying to walk faster than him.

"Raven don't be angry with me," he said grabbing her arm and stopping her. "I can't help feeling what I feel and right now I'm just trying to figure out who you feel."

"I've already told you a million times how I feel!" she said trying to pull away from him.

"No, I want to know how you really feel," he said stopping her once more. "You put on this stupid charade that you don't care what people think about you, but the truth is that you do care. If you didn't then when I apologized for last night you would've accepted it, not told me that I shouldn't apologize."

"You don't know anything about me, Beast Boy!" she said angrily. "I do not put on a charade! What you see is what you get. I don't care about what other people think and I certainly don't care what you think! I don't know what you think you like about me, but wake up! There is nothing remotely attractive nor enduring about me! So get your perverted head out of your fantasy world and face the facts. I'm not worth your time! Now leave me alone!"

All of the lights in the hallway shattered and exploded. She was extremely upset now. Beast Boy couldn't believe she had said all of that. He just stared at her, his mouth slightly ajar. She was hyperventilating and looking at him with tears in her eyes. She felt them and knew she had to leave. She pushed past him and headed back towards her room. She slammed the door and locked it.

Her whole room was a tornado of movement. Things were flying off of shelves and out of draws. Anything made of glass was shattering and even her bed was levitating in the air. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't handle Beast Boy's feelings for her. In all honesty he was the first boy to actually have feelings for her; real feelings for her. She wasn't sure what to do. True, he was a nice guy and, let's face it, very attractive, but she didn't feel anything for him.

'Then why am I so upset that I can't feel anything?' she asked herself. 'What does it matter that I can't show feelings for another? I don't like him anyway.'

'Maybe I've never actually given it a thought,' another part of her thought. 'I've been so busy suppressing everything that I haven't given myself a chance to actually like anyone. Maybe I do like him, but it's just something that's I've ignored for so long I've never noticed it.'

'What? No!' she thought again. 'I don't like him, I barely tolerate the guy. I'm just feeling a little confused and… desperate right now. It'll pass. Let it pass.'

Her bed lowered just in time for her to fall backwards onto it.

"I do not like Beast Boy," she repeated over and over. "I do not like Beast Boy."

Beast Boy watched as she ran to her room and locked the door. This left him all alone in a darkened hallway. He looked at the glass all around him and decided to clean it up. He grabbed a dustpan and brush and began to sweep up Ravens anger.

'Was I wrong?' he thought. 'Does Raven really not care what other people think of her? She sure acts that way, but then why would she have started to cry when I was talking to her last night? I did see tears, right? I'm pretty sure I did; when I touched her cheek. I don't know. Why does she have to be this way? Why does she refuse to be different?'

He went to the closest waste basket and dumped the glass. He had to tell Cyborg that the lights were in repair in the hallway. He was sure he would be asked why, and what was he to say? I pissed off Raven so much she blew up the hallway? He sighed and decided to take care of it later.

He had never felt so lonely in his life. He hated feeling like this; being depressed that is. It just wasn't for him. He was the happy-go-lucky, funny guy of the team. Raven was the depressed one. No, she wasn't depressed, just… unhappy, he guessed.

He reached under his bed, the bottom bunk, and took out a book. But it wasn't book, it was a photo album. He always liked to look at it when he was feeling down. He liked to see pictures of he and his friends having fun. He opened it up and started to go through each page full of pictures.

The first was of the teams first official picture. Beast Boy was on top of Cyborg, almost like a piggy back and he was giving a peace sing. Cyborg was smiling and doing the same. Starfire was looking curiously at the camera. Robin was smiling and giving a thumbs up. And Raven… all you could see was a profile of Raven, looking off somewhere. Her hood was up so you couldn't even see her face, just a shadow.

He scanned through a few more pages. He saw pictures of he and Cyborg playing video games, and then a picture of him crying and Cyborg cheering. There was one of Starfire cooking happily, with Robin in the background looking uneasy at the sight of what she was cooking. He laughed as he saw one of the four of them at the beach. Beast Boy had been buried up to his neck in the sand and the other three were sitting around him smiling. Raven hadn't gone with them.

He flipped through a couple more pages and saw the ones with Terra, he quickly passed those without a second thought. Soon they were all older in the pictures, but the pictures were basically the same. Everyone smiling, doing something funny, and enjoying themselves. But Raven was only in a total of three pictures. The first picture, A picture where she was sitting in the background with her back to the camera, and one where she had been caught off guard. She never looked happy.

He put the photo album away and reached for another book; a scrap book. Robin wasn't the only one who clipped out the articles about the Titans. Beast Boy had been collecting them and made a pretty neat scrap book out of them. He looked through it and saw victory after victory. Each picture was of them looking proud and brave. They each had a couple articles designated to them personally, from when, on a rare occasion, they had saved the day and the other Titans. In each one of those articles there was a picture of just them, and that was always a big deal. Robin had four, Cyborg had three, Starfire had three, Beast Boy had two, and Raven… she had a couple articles but never a picture. And her articles were always small and simple.

"What would it take to make her happy?" he asked himself. "No matter what, she always seems miserable. She can't possibly be satisfied living like this. But what can I do?" He sighed and put it back under the bed. He looked around his room and actually noticed how messy it was. He had never actually taken time to see what a sty it was. "Well, I've got nothing better to do."


	9. When I Think of You

**AN: The Teen Titans are not owned by me, myself, or even I!**

Chapter 8

Raven woke up and looked around. It was dark out. She had fallen asleep after thinking so much. She didn't feel well, so she decided to have some tea. She didn't think that tea actually helped her, it just tricked her mind into thinking it did. Mind over matter; that's how she always thought.

She ventured out of her room and entered the common room. Cyborg was watching television and he turned when he saw her enter. "Uh, hey Raven," he said.

"Hi," she said tiredly and went into the kitchen.

"How are ya?" he asked.

"I've been better," she said getting her things to make her tea.

"Sorry to hear that," he said kindly.

"Thanks," she said and filled the tea kettle with water.

Just as she was placing it on the stove to heat up the doors opened and in walked Robin and Starfire, their arms around each other. They saw Raven and they stopped. They made sure they were very quiet and moved slowly. Raven couldn't take it.

"Would you please stop treating me like an animal!" she said annoyed. "I'm not going to run off if you move too fast or speak."

"We are sorry," said Starfire. "It is just that we have not seen you this evening."

"I was napping," she said plainly.

"Are you feeling okay?" asked Robin.

"No, but it doesn't matter," she said waiting impatiently for her water to boil.

"But it does matter," said Starfire. "You are our friend; we do not want you to feel not okay."

"I'll feel better once I have my tea," said Raven.

Suddenly the doors opened again and Beast Boy had a large bag of trash over his shoulder. He saw everyone starring at him, but he just continued on his way. He went to the trash and shoved the bag in.

"Uh… where'd all that trash come from?" asked Cyborg.

"My room," said Beast Boy. "I'm kinda tidying up."

"You're cleaning your room?" asked Robin shocked.

"Yeah," said Beast Boy. Raven's kettle began to whistle and she turned the heat down. She was so happy she had something to occupy her while he was in the room. "Well… I better get back to work." And with that he left.

"I see you and Beast Boy still ain't speakin," said Cyborg. Raven didn't say anything. She just sipped her tea quietly.

"How long will the two of you not be doing the talking?" asked Starfire. Raven still didn't say anything. She just closed her eyes and focused on her tea.

"I really think it'd be better if the two of you talked and worked everything out," said Robin. "He really is sorry and… well, he does have a reason for acting the way he's acting. The sooner you talk the sooner you'll be able to…"

Raven slammed her cup of tea down. "I've had enough of this! I just want you guys to leave me alone, okay? Whether I'm talking with Beast Boy or not is none of your business. So stop prying and forget about it!" And with that her cup shattered and she headed out of the room. She then stopped, turned around, and said, "And just so you know, I do know why Beast Boy's been acting weird. It's because he has a crush on me and he can't accept the fact that I can't be with him. You know it, I know it, we all know now!" And with that she left the room, tea-less and angrier than she had been in hours.

"We have upset her," said Starfire.

"What was your first clue?" asked Cyborg sarcastically.

"I better go talk to Beast Boy," said Robin. "I'm sure he has something to do with this."

Beast Boy looked around realized how big his room really was. He had forgotten. He had three loads of laundry going, which he had plucked off the floor. Everything was put away and it almost looked… organized. He felt mildly proud of himself and let out a satisfied sigh. Then he heard someone knocking on his door. "Come in," he said proudly.

Robin entered and looked wide eyed at his room. "Beast Boy… you actually _did_ clean you room!"

"I know," chuckled Beast Boy. "Never thought _I'd_ see the day. So what's up?"

"I'm here to talk about Raven," said Robin.

Beast Boy's smile faded and his ears dropped. "Oh," he said.

"She just blew up at us in the kitchen," said Robin. "Evidently she knows that you like her."

"Yeah," said Beast Boy. "Needless to say she didn't take it very well."

"Did you think she would?" asked Robin.

Beast Boy sighed. "No. But I hoped. I just don't know what to do anymore."

Robin sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what to tell you."

"I know," said Beast Boy. "It seems like no one knows anything. I just hate feeling so lost. If only I could get her out of my mind."

"Well, when it comes to mind problems, she's the one to go to," said Robin.

Raven entered her room angry once more. She had been going into her room angry more and more often. She was sick of it all. Sick of everyone and everything. Why did life have to be so complicated? Was there no way out? She began to meditate and slowly her mind was centered and she calmed down.

Through the peacefulness she had created in her mind came the sound of knocking. At first she wasn't sure if it was real, but soon it brought her right back into reality. She opened her eyes and said, "Hello?" She hoped no one would answer. After all, who would be dumb enough to dare to bother her when she asked to be left alone?

"Raven, it's me," said Beast Boy.

Raven let out a long, loud groan of frustration. She wanted to scream and pull her hair out. "What could you possibly want now?"

"I need your help," he said a bit sadly.

She opened the door with her powers and glared at him from her bed. "What do you need help with?" she asked coldly.

He walked in and closed her door. "I want you to go inside of my mind and get rid of my feelings for you," he said.

"You want me to what?" she asked confused.

"I want you to go inside my head and just erase everything I think about when I think about you," he said walking over to her. "That way we'll all be happy."

"I'm not going to damage your mind!" said Raven.

"Please?" he said. "I just… I just can't think about you anymore. Every time I do I feel sick because I know that nothing can ever happen between us. And I know that you don't want anything to happen and that you want me to leave you alone. If you just clean my mind, then we can all get what we want."

Raven just stared at him for a second. "But you won't," she said.

"It won't matter once it's done," said Beast Boy looking at the floor. Then he looked back to her and their eyes met. "So, will you?"

Raven couldn't believe what he was asking her to do. He wanted her to cleanse his mind of her. The thought of her was such a burden, that he couldn't handle it any more. She was causing him pain. She never wanted to hurt him. "Alright," she said at last, almost sadly.

He sat across from her on the bed. Raven calmed him and helped him reach his center. Once his mind was calm and neutral she could enter it and do what she needed to do. She felt horrible about doing this, but it was for the best, right? She looked at him and saw that his eyes were closed and his face looked relaxed.

"Ready?" she asked softly.

"Yes," he said sadly.

Raven closed her eyes and said, "Azerath… Metrion… Zynthos," and her soul self left her body and entered Beast Boy's mind. It was pretty calm and she found her way to his memories. She decided to take care of those later. She first had to reach his thoughts and redirect the way he thought about her. She reached it and took a look inside.

"Beast Boy, can you hear me?" she asked.

"Yes," his mind said.

"Okay, I need you to remain calm at all times," she said. "Now I want you to think about me. I need to see everything that happens when I enter your thoughts."

Suddenly images flashed in front of her. With each image there was a voice behind it, speaking. His voice was narrating to the pictures. "I love the way she looks when she's meditating… her eyes are so beautiful… she hates me… she's so strong… maybe I should start reading… she hates me… she sure does love her tea… God, I want her to smile… she hates me…" Raven saw images of herself meditating and reading and talking and drinking tea and scolding him.

She felt the emotions he was feeling. When he thought about her he felt a warm feeling pass over him and his heart raced. A longing desire crept over him and at the same time despair and sadness. It was all so strong that Raven completely forgot what she was there to do. She was overcome by all of his feelings and couldn't handle it. She had no idea he had felt all of this for her. Was this what a crush felt like? She had certainly never felt one, then. It was a wonderful feeling, and at the same time painful. She couldn't do this. She didn't want him to never feel like this for her again. She had never known that someone could feel like this about her. She left his mind and went back into her own body.

Beast Boy gasped and opened his eyes. It was all a very odd sensation, having her inside of his head. He looked across to her and saw that she had gasped as well and come back. She was looking a little dazed. She then made eye contact with him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't hate you!" she said.

Beast Boy was a bit startled by this, but he liked the feel of her hugging him. Wait a second! He wasn't supposed to like that anymore. "Raven, what happened? Did you… did you stop me from thinking about you?"

"No," she said releasing him. She had tears in her eyes. "I couldn't do it. I just… I never knew, Beast Boy. I never knew that anyone could feel like that about me. The way you saw me, through your eyes, I was almost beautiful to you."

"You are beautiful to me," said Beast Boy taking her hands and looking concerned. "Why would you think otherwise? And why did you say, "I don't hate you"?"

"Because you think that I do," she said bowing her head. "And I don't. I really don't. And I'm sorry that you think so. You have such wonderful thoughts about me. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to go back to having no one liking me."

"Raven, I can't go on watching you from afar," said Beast Boy. "I've had to do that for so long. I just can't do it anymore."

"Then don't do it anymore," said Raven. She softly grabbed his face and brought him to her lips.

To say that Beast Boy was shocked was an understatement. As soon as their lips met his lungs seemed to die and he couldn't breath. But he soon closed his eyes and found his breath again. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her as close to him as he could. As he did, Raven wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to kiss him.

Everything was flying around her room, once more. Beast Boy went to release her lips, but she refused. She didn't care that her room was being destroyed. She had never felt this way before, because she had never allowed herself to. And Beast Boy was in absolute bliss.

Finally their lips released and they both began to catch their breath. Raven still had tears streaming down her face. Their foreheads rested against each other and they continued to hold one another. Beast Boy opened his eyes and saw that Ravens were still closed. Slowly her eyes did open and they stared at each other for a little while.

Then Beast Boy smiled and whispered. "L is for the way you look at me…"

**The End**

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